Cheryl Burke recalls the trauma of testifying against her childhood abuser

When Cheryl Burke was 9 years old, she testified in court against a caregiver who sexually abused her and her stepmother.

The previous one Dancing with the stars pro recalled the traumatic experience on Monday's Jan. 20 episode Ancient podcast.

“We were both sexually assaulted by the same person, the carer who was taking care of us,” Burke, 40, said. “And then it was my sister's best friend who ran home and told her mother. That was the reason he was sentenced – he was supposed to be in prison for life, but he got out.

During his trial, “I almost gassed myself,” she continued. “I'll never forget when I was testifying with this man sitting in front of me. They wouldn't even let my mom come with me, which was so crazy. I was 9. And I thought to myself, 'Did I make this up?' I literally I told myself that.

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Burke added: “I felt like a pedophile from the age of 9. That's how they made me feel.”

She explained during her time Ancient she seems to be a “professional disassociator” as a result of her past trauma, which she is trying to come to terms with.

“It's not, 'OK, I'm done with that part of my life,'” Burke said. “But I've done so much work that I can't deal with the anger that I had for this one person, that I felt like I was slowly dying , so some peacemaking had to happen. Not for forgiveness by any means, but I had to create something like, “Okay, this person was sick.”

However, she noted, “I'm not sorry. I don't want people to take it the wrong way as if I'm forgiving him for harassing me.

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Burke has previously opened up about the abuse she endured as a child in 2015 and later discussing how the test was affected her relationships with men as an adult.

She thinks that in the future it will be more difficult for other victims to speak out against their abusers.

“It's society today, man,” Burke said Ancientadding, “Why would anyone ever want to come forward and tell their truth if the victim feels like they're doing something wrong? And it's so easy to light someone on fire and all this statute of limitations. It's all bullshit because it takes decades if not a lifetime , to finally understand or somehow realize that: “Yes, maybe I was raped.”

She added: “None of it had a quick fix. There's none. And I don't even want it to come into contact in any way. No medication. No sroom. Trust me, I've tried it all. And it just comes back tenfold unless don't get the job done and the boy won't get hurt. This job hurts.”

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact National Sexual Abuse Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).