DIY VIRAL
Allison Holker has had a lot to deal with since losing her husband.
In December 2022, we reported on the tragic passing of Stephen “tWitch” Boss.
After his heartbreaking death by suicide, those close to him discovered a private pain he kept to himself.
Part of that, his widow explains, was uncovering the addiction he had hidden throughout his life.
Allison Holker Opens Up (And Wrote a Book) About Her Late Husband's Tragic Passing
In life, Stephen “tWitch” Boss was co-executive producer of The Ellen DeGeneres Show and also a long-time DJ.
Talk to People in a new interviewWidow Allison Holker remembers discovering a “cornucopia” of drugs hidden in shoe boxes in her late husband's closet.
She found mushrooms, pills and “other substances that I had to look up on my phone.”
“I was with a dear friend of mine, and we were cleaning out the closet and picking out an outfit for him for the funeral,” Holker recalled. That's when they made the discovery.
“That was a really triggering moment for me,” she said, “because I discovered a lot of things in our closet that I didn’t know existed.”
Holker admitted: “It was very alarming for me to learn that there was so much going on that I had no idea about. »
Allison Holker took the time to understand why her late husband hid so much
“It was a really scary time in my life to realize that,” Allison Holker said.
“But it also helped me understand that he was going through so much and hiding so much from himself,” she explained. “And there must be a lot of shame in that.”
Holker spent nine years married to Boss. During that time, she thought they had “very honest” communication about marijuana. Her late husband would slip into the guest house to “recharge,” to which she commented, “And it was nice.” »
“He was struggling with a lot of things within himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and deal with all these feelings,” Allison Holker wisely described. This was, she explained, “because he didn’t want to impose it on anyone because he loved everyone so much.”
Another discovery after his death involved diary entries alluding to sexual abuse committed during his childhood.
Speaking about her husband's state of mind, Holker explained: “He didn't want other people to take on his pain. »
At first these secrets felt like a betrayal
“Reading Stephen's journal…really gave me a better perspective on where he was in life and what kind of issues he was struggling with,” Allison Holker said. “It made me feel a lot of empathy towards him and sadness for all the pain he was feeling.”
Many might have kept their deceased loved one's secrets, from diary notes to drug hoards, instead of giving interviews and writing a book about it. (So Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light comes out in February.)
However, Holker shares Boss's struggles and his family's grief. The reason is that she hopes others can learn from it. If sharing Boss's tragedy saves even one person going through similar struggles, it will be worth it.
DIY VIRAL
