Why Trista Sutter Suddenly Left the Special Forces: What You Didn't See

Trista Sutter's exit from Special forces suddenly appeared on television, but it turns out there was a lot going on behind the scenes that viewers didn't see during the Wednesday, Jan. 15, episode.

“When I came back from the beach the first day, I was in hypothermic shock. My lips turned blue in the car on the way back. It was bad. I was extremely lethargic,” Sutter, 53, revealed in an exclusive interview Us Weekly. “It was really scary.”

Not long on Wednesday's episodeThe OG Bachelorette told Special forces the soldiers she wanted to leave behind. According to Sutter, she realized it was time to go for a mirror room that didn't air.

“I wanted to go all the way. I really did. I wasn't one to just sign up for a show and get paid on the first day, you know what I mean? I wanted to challenge myself as much as I could and this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and the mirror room part of it, I wanted to achieve that,” she said. We. “I thought it would go further, but because of what happened to me, they pulled me in and I got to really connect on a human level with Billy (Billingham) and J (Jovon Quarles).

Sutter also recalled bonding with trooper Rudy Reyes.

“When I was on the beach, I stopped Rudy and said, 'I think I'm going to pass out.' And he says, “Well, what do you want to do?” I said, “I'd like to see a doctor.” And he says, “Well, you can't, if you see a doctor, then you voluntarily resign.” … And he says, “I'm sorry, you either have a VW or move on.” And I was like, 'Okay, I'm not ready to go home,'” she explained We. “So I just kept going and he said after the mirror room, 'I'm really proud of you.' I thought you were going to leave the beach but you didn't and you kept going and that's so important and I'm so proud of you.

Sater called the endorsement from DS a reward — and a sign that she may have accomplished what she set out to do on the show, despite her quick exit.

“They saw that I gave 100 percent, even though my 100 percent wasn't as great as professional athletes and Kerry HartI tried my best,” she continued. “So just knowing that they saw that I was giving 100 percent meant a lot to me. I just have a lot of respect for them and what they have given to our country (and) their countries. Communication with them was very important to me. “

The reality TV personality elaborated on her decision to quit the show, explaining that she took a long shower to warm up after returning from the beach.

“Before we started filming (again) I saw the number 444 and I believe in the number of angels and guardian angels and God and I have a lot of faith and all that,” she said. “I went into it, knowing or believing that my guardian angels were watching over me, and went to sleep. I woke up to the explosions—we all did—and was instantly calm, thinking, “You're good. You've gotten a lot out of these two days. Even though it's only been two days. It's been a lifetime.”

Sutter added that the staff warned her that things would get more difficult if she stayed and progressed on the show.

“And it was already very difficult!” she continued. “Between running with a pack that's basically a third of my body weight was really hard. I've never been a runner, and those were the hardest parts, the tasks that I was actually excited about and thought I did really well at, even though I didn't technically pass.

On the show, Sutter said she didn't want to be a “burden” to any of her castmates.

“I wanted to challenge myself, but (not) put it on other people to help me,” she said We from the note. “They didn't have to help me. Gold (Tate) was carrying my packet—you could see it at one of the moments on the bridge—he had two packets, one of which was mine. And I remember telling him, “I think I'll go.” He says, “Are you sure?” And mind you, we're running around trying to get ready, like, go, go.

Sutter reiterated that even though she was only on the show for a short time, it was a very satisfying experience. She noted that fellow contestant Denise Richards (who was the second candidate to leave) felt the same way.

“I have a lot of respect for what Denise was able to accomplish, and she was the second one to go,” Sutter said. “Everybody has a different purpose there. Everyone has their own individual reason for leaving and it doesn't take anything away from who they are and what they are trying to accomplish.

Sutter concluded that coming on the series gave her back her “confidence” — both as an individual and as an athlete.

“I learned that I can do hard things if I put my mind to it. And part of me regrets leaving, now that I see everything they've been through,” she said. “But I just try to remind myself of how I felt at that moment and the peace that came over me, (how I was) challenging myself with the experience and all the people I met, the friendship. I try to be grateful for it all, but it's hard. I'd love to wake up and say, “Yeah, whatever. Screw that piece. Keep it up!”

Special forces on Fox Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET.